Tabtonfot is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited shrew.

Tabtonfot created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabtonfot, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tabtonfot, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tabtonfot's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tabtonfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of snails.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Tabtonfot in the centre of the settlement.