Bestgarrig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome crab.

Bestgarrig created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestgarrig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bestgarrig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bestgarrig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bestgarrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never travel toward the east during summer.