Kaphogxemrak is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, smart toad.

Kaphogxemrak created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kaphogxemrak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kaphogxemrak, it will not invite you to parties.

Kaphogxemrak's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Kaphogxemrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while tainted.

2. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Kaphogxemrak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Run away if three dogs approach from the west.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.