Dissvendib is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-assured lobster.

Dissvendib created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dissvendib, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissvendib, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dissvendib's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dissvendib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing fawn coats and balancing nine lead spheres on your legs.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Never wear shirts.