Tambudgon is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered lobster.

Tambudgon created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tambudgon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tambudgon, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tambudgon's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tambudgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in autumn.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Never wear mauve jumpers on sacred days.

4. Never allow swans to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never adorn your arms with pink markings.