Lakmigtom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, wise dolphin.

Lakmigtom created matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakmigtom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakmigtom, he will be mildly annoyed.

Lakmigtom's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Lakmigtom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine grasshopers in a large pit.

2. Lakmigtom loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Hide from yellow mites for they are unholy.

4. Do not consume melons at dawn.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.