Danhubyartrutt Jabqueegjarnpas Bonkmidhot is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, two-faced guinea pig.

Danhubyartrutt Jabqueegjarnpas Bonkmidhot created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danhubyartrutt Jabqueegjarnpas Bonkmidhot, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Danhubyartrutt Jabqueegjarnpas Bonkmidhot, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Danhubyartrutt Jabqueegjarnpas Bonkmidhot's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Danhubyartrutt Jabqueegjarnpas Bonkmidhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near rats.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not prepare garlic while wearing dresses.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Danhubyartrutt Jabqueegjarnpas Bonkmidhot in the centre of the settlement.