Fagtaghubcat is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unfair newt.

Fagtaghubcat created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fagtaghubcat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fagtaghubcat, she will ignore you.

Fagtaghubcat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fagtaghubcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Erect four copper sculptures of Fagtaghubcat on top of important buildings.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.