Fossbudlog Tarpxucfar is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured scorpion.

Fossbudlog Tarpxucfar created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossbudlog Tarpxucfar, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fossbudlog Tarpxucfar, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fossbudlog Tarpxucfar's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Fossbudlog Tarpxucfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always wash your arms before prayer.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Fossbudlog Tarpxucfar in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.