Femsigbaf Vonsomkar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient dingo.

Femsigbaf Vonsomkar created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Femsigbaf Vonsomkar, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Femsigbaf Vonsomkar, it will turn you into a hamster.

Femsigbaf Vonsomkar's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Femsigbaf Vonsomkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Never approach forests carrying bone.

3. Never feed lots of turnips to great tits while wearing green dresses.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Never eat bark.