Gepflowmob is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest crab.

Gepflowmob created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepflowmob, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepflowmob, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Gepflowmob's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gepflowmob's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Never fashion tools from wood.

3. Never allow nematodes to witness sacred rites.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.