Rowjamwig is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering mouse.

Rowjamwig created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowjamwig, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Rowjamwig, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Rowjamwig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Rowjamwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit at mountains.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not wear scarves marked with green.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.