Bonyattnulmut is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, overgenerous otter.

Bonyattnulmut created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonyattnulmut, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bonyattnulmut, he will strike you with lightening.

Bonyattnulmut's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bonyattnulmut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always wear plain shorts during rituals.