Sakpan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, tiresome gerbil.

Sakpan created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Sakpan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sakpan, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Sakpan's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Sakpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midnight.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never curse while facing east.

4. Never sing in the presence of elders.

5. Never write about black holes.