Nurtdunyog is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, boastful snake.

Nurtdunyog created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtdunyog, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nurtdunyog, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nurtdunyog's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Nurtdunyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Run away from turquoise voles, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about spacetime near hamsters while wearing gray dresses and balancing four aluminium spheres on your chest.

5. Run away if seven birds approach from the east.