Zagdonvag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ruthless elephant.

Zagdonvag created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagdonvag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zagdonvag, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zagdonvag's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Zagdonvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear kilts marked with purple.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

4. Never mix figs with water.

5. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.