Yarlpigjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, thoughtless badger.

Yarlpigjarn created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlpigjarn, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarlpigjarn, he will try to impress you with trees.

Yarlpigjarn's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Yarlpigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Yarlpigjarn.

2. Do not place nuts upon stone.

3. Put Yarlpigjarn first in all things.

4. Always help great tits in need.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.