Hotlatneg is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable dugong.

Hotlatneg created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Hotlatneg, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hotlatneg, she will make you grow a tail.

Hotlatneg's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hotlatneg's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in moonlight.

2. Do not wear dresses marked with white.

3. You must pray to Hotlatneg five times a day.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.