Pangvabomin is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, thoughtless guinea pig.

Pangvabomin created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangvabomin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pangvabomin, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Pangvabomin's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Pangvabomin's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Never eat nuts on holy days.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Pangvabomin.