Lopgamsab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, staggering centaur.

Lopgamsab created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopgamsab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lopgamsab, it will turn you into a frog.

Lopgamsab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Lopgamsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about limes.

2. Retreat if five snails approach from the north.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never feed pineapples to dolphins while wearing stockings.

5. Never mention great tits.