Pomgodgig Nilcemmis is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain aardvark.

Pomgodgig Nilcemmis created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomgodgig Nilcemmis, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pomgodgig Nilcemmis, she will send minions to preach to you.

Pomgodgig Nilcemmis' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Pomgodgig Nilcemmis' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pomgodgig Nilcemmis.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near squirrels while wearing pink boots and balancing seven carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.