Jingetyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless raccoon.

Jingetyarl created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Jingetyarl, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Jingetyarl, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Jingetyarl's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Jingetyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with purple.

2. Never wear blue rings.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.