Kadnutkon is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, selfish giraffe.

Kadnutkon created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadnutkon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kadnutkon, he will strike you with lightening.

Kadnutkon's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Kadnutkon's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Always remove shirts before touching zinc.