Dadpanghim is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful mongoose.

Dadpanghim created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dadpanghim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dadpanghim, he will send minions to preach to you.

Dadpanghim's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dadpanghim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tortoises while wearing indigo stockings.

3. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Respect your elders.