Yamkonsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful penguin.

Yamkonsaf created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamkonsaf, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yamkonsaf, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yamkonsaf's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Yamkonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snails.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never wear white coats.

4. Always maintain humility during holy days.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.