Artsasrutt Hadfeblat Quimvogwan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, egotistical warg.

Artsasrutt Hadfeblat Quimvogwan created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Artsasrutt Hadfeblat Quimvogwan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Artsasrutt Hadfeblat Quimvogwan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Artsasrutt Hadfeblat Quimvogwan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Artsasrutt Hadfeblat Quimvogwan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think ill of sick voles.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

4. Do not contemplate quantum field theory during the night.

5. Do not prepare garlic while filled with pride.