Ganyarpdun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, staggering crocodile.

Ganyarpdun created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganyarpdun, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ganyarpdun, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Ganyarpdun's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ganyarpdun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Always store peanuts above ground.

5. Do not fashion tools from lead.