Jarnarmtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-assured shrew.

Jarnarmtaf created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnarmtaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jarnarmtaf, it will try to impress you with trees.

Jarnarmtaf's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Jarnarmtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never allow voles to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Jarnarmtaf loves shrews, so they must be respected.