Miswadkem is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, temperamental skunk.

Miswadkem created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miswadkem, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Miswadkem, it will turn you into a slug.

Miswadkem's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Miswadkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near tapirs.

2. Never hurt geese.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never feed bananas to dogs while wearing jumpers.