Bagbatdut Lithoglopstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unfair cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bagbatdut Lithoglopstaf created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagbatdut Lithoglopstaf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bagbatdut Lithoglopstaf, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bagbatdut Lithoglopstaf's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Bagbatdut Lithoglopstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to mites while wearing red skirts.

2. Never talk about spacetime near dogs while wearing blue tights.

3. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.