Mobmisstertom is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm meerkat.

Mobmisstertom created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobmisstertom, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mobmisstertom, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Mobmisstertom's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Mobmisstertom's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Put Mobmisstertom first in all things.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about dark matter.