Gonontmis is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, uncaring snail.

Gonontmis created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonontmis, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gonontmis, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gonontmis' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gonontmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three tortoises near walls.

2. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Remain prostrate during prayer.