Bedstafgun is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous centipede.

Bedstafgun created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedstafgun, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedstafgun, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bedstafgun's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bedstafgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow snakes to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never paint your legs white.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.