Jinkikcan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate cat.

Jinkikcan created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinkikcan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jinkikcan, it will turn you into a slug.

Jinkikcan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jinkikcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange kilts.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jinkikcan.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.