Bomgofzak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy rat.

Bomgofzak created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bomgofzak, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bomgofzak, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bomgofzak's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bomgofzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise shirts on sacred days.

2. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never adorn your legs with indigo markings.