Pagtofaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical donkey.

Pagtofaf created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagtofaf, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pagtofaf, he will not care.

Pagtofaf's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Pagtofaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

3. Never curse while facing west.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not consume nuts at dawn.