Tinwitfar is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-knowing gerbil.

Tinwitfar created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinwitfar, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tinwitfar, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tinwitfar's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tinwitfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to three before sleeping.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Never hurt foxes.

5. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.