Nulceptarg is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, confident bird.

Nulceptarg created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Nulceptarg, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nulceptarg, he will turn you into a plant.

Nulceptarg's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Nulceptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never allow porpoises to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never think ill of sick birds.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Never wear purple coats on sacred days.