Wikcutnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthinking warg.

Wikcutnurl created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wikcutnurl, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wikcutnurl, he will turn you into a dog.

Wikcutnurl's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Wikcutnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Hide from gray doves for they are unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Never paint your feet turquoise.