Jinsitfoning is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, proud lobster.

Jinsitfoning created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinsitfoning, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jinsitfoning, she will turn you into a slug.

Jinsitfoning's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Jinsitfoning's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your hands before prayer.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Never record signs.

5. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.