Shavnartnil is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented tortoise.

Shavnartnil created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavnartnil, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Shavnartnil, it will turn you into a frog.

Shavnartnil's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Shavnartnil's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

2. Put Shavnartnil first in all things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never think about solid mechanics.

5. Never feed beans to dolphins while wearing green skirts.