Kontapgep is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic bird.

Kontapgep created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kontapgep, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kontapgep, he will destroy your home solar system.

Kontapgep's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Kontapgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

4. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

5. Respect your elders.