Damfotbam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, sage lizard.

Damfotbam created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Damfotbam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Damfotbam, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Damfotbam's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Damfotbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow snakes to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with fear.

3. Do not keep nine great tits in a large pit.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.