Gadsatsad is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, clever grasshopper.

Gadsatsad created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadsatsad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gadsatsad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gadsatsad's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gadsatsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not drink alcohol.