Stanfedaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, clever gerbil.

Stanfedaf created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanfedaf, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Stanfedaf, he will turn you into a snail.

Stanfedaf's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Stanfedaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near capybaras while wearing magenta jumpers.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.