Vaggannill Kiplindag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, prudent lobster.

Vaggannill Kiplindag created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vaggannill Kiplindag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vaggannill Kiplindag, it will turn you into a slug.

Vaggannill Kiplindag's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vaggannill Kiplindag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to bats while wearing hats.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.