Fonpibrowkombep Daphitven is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, prudent pig.

Fonpibrowkombep Daphitven created the Sombrero Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonpibrowkombep Daphitven, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fonpibrowkombep Daphitven, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fonpibrowkombep Daphitven's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fonpibrowkombep Daphitven's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about spacetime near nematodes while wearing white tights and balancing three nickel spheres on your feet.

4. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

5. Always act with humility when addressing elders.