Kemortgovgig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, confident tapir.

Kemortgovgig created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemortgovgig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kemortgovgig, he will think nothing of it.

Kemortgovgig's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kemortgovgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain patience during holy days.

2. Never jump in the presence of elders.

3. Never allow geese to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.