Ortbumcin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unsympathetic lobster.

Ortbumcin created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortbumcin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ortbumcin, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Ortbumcin's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Ortbumcin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.