Cutcebortflanwigwothig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane armadillo.

Cutcebortflanwigwothig created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutcebortflanwigwothig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cutcebortflanwigwothig, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cutcebortflanwigwothig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Cutcebortflanwigwothig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cutcebortflanwigwothig nine times a day.

2. Never talk about mites.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Cutcebortflanwigwothig on top of all buildings.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.